Findom Interview and Review Essay

By: Ayana Coleman-Dixon

I’m scrolling through Twitter, like almost everyone in my generation, and I see a gorgeous girl posed to perfection named Goddess Angelina. I read her caption, and it says “Breaking men physically, emotionally, and financially since 1999,” with a hashtag called Findom. My first thought was, “haha, same girl.” But I clicked on her profile and scrolled through her page and saw that she was getting thousands of dollars through apps like Cash App, Paypal, and a site called OnlyFans. I personally love looking up words I’m not familiar with on Google all the time; plus, I was very interested to know just what this Findom thing is about. On Google, it said, “Financial Domination is a sexual fetish, in particular a practice of dominance and submission, where a Submissive will give gifts and money to a financial dominant.” 

Then came the obsessive research on just what exactly these Findoms do in order to make so much money they don’t have to work a 9 to 5. I researched this topic for a couple of days just to get a better understanding of just what goes into doing this. So, because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy I started to feel like maybe this research was going to take forever. I’m simply posting any picture and telling people to give me money? Life doesn't work like that. At least, that’s what I originally thought. 

I went through Twitter again, and I saw women of all ages over 18 posting cute, some highly sexual, and some outright weird photos and videos of themselves with mass adoration in response. Men with these Submissive Twitter accounts would like, retweet, and comment the craziest things. They would also refer to their dominant women as Goddesses and would request things like them kicking their balls, licking their shoe soles, getting locked in chastity belts for long periods of time, and a lot more. Many of these Submissives talked openly about how it is their life purpose to serve a Goddess and that they live purely to please her financially. As I scrolled through getting an inside look at this community, a light bulb in my head went off. If I could do something like as an experiment and pick up the mannerisms of a Findom to see how much money I get, that would be eye-opening and awesome. So, that’s what I did. 

Eventually, I made an account on Twitter a little after I agreed to interview a Findom for my New Media class. The only problem was, I was so scared about how they would react to me wanting to interview them. I see these dominant women that mostly make content cussing at, throwing middle fingers up, and being rude to these men, so I naturally still saw them in that light when they're off-duty. Plus, it’s not that hard to come across women in the community who aren't so kind to others. There was an incident where I complimented a Findom about her content and she made a subtweet about me saying how pathetic I was and that it wasn’t worth her time to talk to me. But I’ve come to realize not every Domme is like that and there are some really cool girls on Findom who are also kind. So, I faced my fears and sent out DMs to a couple of Findom Goddesses who I admired and women who I felt would give me the time of day. 

The first Goddess' name was Amanda Ross. She was super sweet and so chill, plus we got to bond throughout the interview. She broke down how she managed to make $1,000 in two weeks' time off starting Findom. Amanda explained that she never intended on becoming a Findom but read about it and was interested to see what it was all about. Amanda had been super successful, but could not talk to me too much. This was mainly because of her busy schedule but she did say how surprised she was when her account seemingly blew up overnight. There became a point where men were constantly DMing and asking to send her money and Amazon gift cards. Amanda also wrote an article about her Findom experience but she has since deleted her Findom account. So sadly there is no trace of her account or her article. 

The second person I interviewed was Mistress Deena and she’s the owner of a Findom Discord, a site dedicated to Findom and Finsub interaction. Deena told me that she lives in Chicago, does Findom as a full-time job, and that she is a Libra. She was also surprisingly sweet and seemed open to telling me what Findom has been like for her through a video call on her site. 

I was a little nervous not going to lie, but I felt confident that she would blow this interview out of the water. Before we were about to chat, she asked if she could bring her Submissive to be interviewed as well. For me, it was the more the merrier and I was truly so happy that we were able to get two different perspectives in the Findom community at once. My hands were shaking a bit as I started the interview since I’ve never done an interview before, especially not with a Financial Dominatrix. But Deena sounded just as down to earth as her messages! I started off by asking about her beginnings and how she first got into Findom. 

“I started really early since I was about 18. I was doing this fetish work in conjunction with working a vanilla job and it was stressful, very stressful. At first, it started with phone sex and most of my vanilla work was not at all like that. So I had to be very conscious of what I say to people especially when they piss me off.” Deena tells me. She was already showing how authentic she was in her presentation of the reality behind doing sex work and juggling her vanilla lifestyle. 

Deena also told to me that she feels the Goddesses on Twitter drain Submissive men for their money, so sometimes they end up starving themselves. When speaking about Findom, she says, “I don't think that's necessarily right to do it as a get rich quick scheme and I also don't necessarily look at it as a scam or anything like that. It's just more so engaging in something that pertains to their real life. And the thing is- the more you restrain yourself from getting the thing you want, the more it consumes you mentally.” Deena talked more about her vanilla and Domme lifestyle and how important it was “finding the balance” of both. I couldn’t agree more with her, especially when she told me how a lot of Dommes get too caught up in the lifestyle that it affects them dramatically in their personal lives. 

When it came to Deena’s Submissive Joe, he was a very quiet guy. He didn’t say much and just let his Goddess do a lot of the talking. When asking him about his role as a Submissive to Deena, he said, “To be honest, the role as a Sub is very versatile. You can be like me, a little more relaxed Sub. I don't need to be dressed up or anything, that's not me” I found this quite interesting since there are a lot of Submissives that like to dress up in women’s clothes for the entertainment of their Goddess or because they identify as what they call Sissies. Sissy is a term that people use in the Findom community to identify men who like dressing up in women's clothes and get turned on doing so. But Joe states, “I'm a more relaxed and laid back Sub. It's a way of after a long day of work or a long month of work and getting paid, I get a release I don't get anywhere else.” 

At this point, I wish I had a Submissive like Deena’s, he was very loyal and seemed to genuinely enjoy giving money to her. I could also pick up that he wasn’t expecting anything that would be considered uncomfortable for her in return. Then Deena went on to explain to me that Findom was not like how it was when she was first starting 10 years ago. “Findom used to be "I'll give you money," and the gratification of me giving you money and expecting nothing in return is what gets me off. And now, it's basically more so a transactional type of thing,” she explains. At this point in our interview, based on her explanation of the community, it made me want to experience what the old Findom was like. I know for me, and probably a lot of other women, it was hard sometimes talking with these men who wanted something sexual in exchange for their money. 

She continues and begins to talk about the reason for her opening her own Findom website. What inspired her to do it was the amount of hate she got from other Dommes in the Findom community on Twitter. “They were just really dismissive and really bitchy for no reason. So basically I ran a Findom Discord. There's a Cash Master side and there's a Domme side. But I don't get too many Dommes.” (If you’re unfamiliar with the term Cash Master, it’s basically the same thing as a Findom but it's financially dominant men.) Deena also explains how hard it was to run the site when she’s got not only Dommes but Cash Masters to moderate. “And just you know the thing is, I've done the impossible. Having them under the same group and they're all starting to drive me crazy.” I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle because I could hear the frustration in her voice she explained this. It kind of reminded me of a mom complaining about how her kids won’t behave. “They drive me crazy!” she reiterates, “But you know it's getting better, the thing is they are learning a lot from each other.” 

Getting to the more serious part of our conversation, I wanted to know what exactly to look out for when messing with Findom as a beginner. Simply because a lot of people look at it and they think that it’s for them just because money is involved, but as Deena was explaining it’s much more than that. 

“There is a danger with anything that's going to be fetish work-related and things like that. The online dangers of it would be if you're irresponsible. If you put yourself in a situation where you're compromising your identity and/or fraud. Basically, you can get in trouble with the Submissive man or even the government sometimes. Because even though it's a fetish, it's still technically a form of income and you need to report that and some people don't do that. Then another thing is if you're a person who likes real-time things like cash meets, you know public humiliation stuff, you can get robbed or assaulted. You're putting yourself at great risk doing any type of work in this field, regardless. That's why I don't pick just anyone, especially ones who are not used to fetish work, period.” 

Joe also explained how there would be Submissives who get drained until they have nothing left in the bank. “I think the Subs have to know a point where they're comfortable sending and tributing. They have to know their limits as well,” he said with seriousness in his tone. Deena explained a specific situation that happened to the transgender Sub. “Yeah, well we gave a Submissive money. Because basically, he was saying that he was starving because of what a Domme did to him. And myself and other dommes and other subs have contributed to this sub so this person could eat.” I couldn’t help but be overcome with sadness at the thought that someone would drain another like that without any remorse, especially during these tough economic times. She continued, “They usually are going through a lot of mental and emotional stuff as it is. And basically, with that financial bomb coming down on them too, that's heightening their depression and anxiety even more.” It was quite interesting, to say the least on what goes on behind closed doors when the drain and fun are over. It could leave Subs feeling even more depressed or anxious than many Dommes intend.

As a closing question, I asked Deena if she felt that Findom was going to be mainstream? She said, “It is mainstream, it's mainstream right now like literally it was underground and it came up after the recession when Obama went into office. That was when it became more mainstream because that's when all the sugar daddy websites started coming up too. 10 years ago was when it blew up but that's where it really kicked off and became more mainstream. Because people were posting about it on social media.” What was mind-blowing to me was that this was technically as mainstream as Findom was going to get. But I couldn’t help but think that maybe in the near future it might pop off into something of a higher status. Who knows maybe OnlyFans might help it become more mainstream? As we exchanged our goodbyes, I thanked them for taking the time out of their day to break down this community for not only myself, but the readers as well. Deena was so sweet and was definitely going places with her Findom Discord and I wished her all the luck in the world. 

During this process, I’ve made so many new friendships and learned more about value and self-worth through Findom. It’s important that we as young women value ourselves to where we feel we’re good enough to call ourselves Goddesses. Because if you think about it, women throughout history are in many ways, real-life Goddesses. It was a very delightful experience being in the Findom community, and I continued maybe three months after I did the interview. In the end, it just wasn't something I found enjoyment in when interacting with Submissives. In addition, I realized that financial control is in many ways sex work and I wasn't willing to show or do too much in order to make money. I made close to $6,000 and I had spent a total of about 8 months keeping up with the community. It made me feel like anything is possible if you truly believe in your craft and work hard to better yourself, and that goes for any job title. But I don't want readers to assume it came easy, this work like Deena stated is hard and can be very time-consuming. But most importantly, experimenting with Findom gave me a newfound respect for not only Financial Domination but also sex workers.